Generally speaking, ice is ice. Whether it comes from a tray, a bag or your ice dispenser in your fridge, it’s all the same. (Though I think we can all agree that crushed ice beats cubed any day.) Now it appears that if you want to truly enjoy your finely crafted cocktail, you’re going to need one of Gläce Luxury Ice’s $8 ice cubes.
No, I’m not making this up, PriceEconomics reports that the company is holding events at the Playboy Mansion and L.A. Fashion week to try to drum-up hype for the fancy ice cubes. Dean and Deluca is selling the ice cubes through their catalog to any bar or restaurant owner who thinks their patrons might be gullible enough to fall for the scam. The catalog description sure makes the fancy ice sound impressive:
“Gläce Luxury Ice is a meticulously designed and differentiated ice brand specifically designed for use in premium drinks and cocktails. The Gläce Mariko Sphere is a perfectly spherical 2.5-inch piece with a melting rate of 20-30 minutes. The Gläce G-Cubed, a symmetrical 2.5-inch cube, has a dilution rate of 20-40 minutes. Gläce Ice pieces are individually carved from a 300-lb. block to ensure flawless quality and a zero-taste profile, never contaminating the essence of premium liquors and drinks.”
Oooooo, zero-taste profile and individually carved from a single block of ice. I bet they even have some Eskimos working to carve out the special ice cubes, you know, for that culturally artisan effect. And if you’re wondering if any of that ice dilution rate mumbo jumbo is actually legit, well, the Miami Herald wasn’t too impressed:
“Our plan was to put it in a premium drink and then drink it, but by the time our photographer finished taking pictures of it, it had melted. So now what we have is a bag of water. But it’s luxury water.”
If you still don’t believe this is just a rebooted version of the emperor’s new clothes, feel free to head on over to the Gläce website and order a 50-cube box for $325. You could also just flush $325 down the toilet, the end result is the same with both.