Having your vagina massaged by a stranger can be difficult to imagine at first, but for some people like me, it marked a major turning point in their sexuality.
In the past, I had a tendency for frigidity, and sexual encounters were more for the benefit of my partners than for my own pleasure. Today, I am a sexually confident woman, having great orgasms whenever I want.
Today I want to talk about how yoni massages made the difference for me, and for many of the women I coach.
What is yoni massage?
The Sanskrit word “yoni” (pronounced yo-nee) means “the sacred temple”, and refers to the female genitals.
Yoni massage is a full body oil massage which includes the female genitals. It’s performed by professional therapists in a sacred and safe environment.
What are the benefits of yoni massage?
1. Sexual empowerment
Poor sex education and a culture that expects women to be objects of sexual desire, not active agents, leave many women unaware of their own physical and emotional needs.
Yoni massage provides a safe environment for women to explore their bodies, without any pressure to perform for a partner.
Add some harassment, pressure from insensitive boyfriends, and the occasional sexual assault, and you have a recipe for trauma. We tend to store suppressed trauma as physical tension (according to Somatic Psychology), including in the pelvic floor and vaginal muscles.
Even relatively mild incidents and frustrations can produce tension, numbness, and even painful areas in the vagina.
Massaging the tense areas can release the suppressed trauma. Women have reported emotional release, laughter, tears, and even flashbacks into their past – including traumatic and deeply buried situations.
3. Expanded orgasmic potential
Yoni massage is particularly helpful in going from being non-orgasmic, or having only superficial clitoral orgasms to having profound, deep vaginal orgasms, full-body orgasms and multiple orgasms.
4. Enhanced relationships and personal power
I cannot stress enough how much our sexuality is a part of our psyche, and therefore our entire personality, behavior, and experience of life.
Once my sexual expression was flowing freely, I found my relationship with my partner also flowed more freely. I seemed to have more energy for my work and other projects, and every aspect of life was more delightful than before.
How to Give Yourself a Yoni Massage
If it simply sounds too scary for you to go to a professional yoni masseuse, if your partner is not familiar with it, or if you don’t have a partner, you can totally give yourself a yoni massage.
Block out enough time, around 1.5 hrs. Wash your hands & cut your nails, to avoid scratching yourself. Make sure the room is warm and comfortable, and have plenty of towels, so you don’t need to worry about getting anything oily or dirty.
Get the most raw, pure and natural virgin organic coconut oil (available on Amazon and in all health stores). I recommend non-toxic organic toys, something like the Lelo Ella or Outlaw for this practice.
Set up the space with candles, aroma oils, soft music, cozy blankets, whatever you most enjoy. Create a beautiful love temple for yourself.
Step 1: Establish a vagina-heart connection
Sit comfortably and place your right hand on your vagina, and your left hand on your heart. Visualize energy flowing from the heart, down to your vagina.
Step 2: Breathe in orgasmic oxygen
Take a deep inhalation (count to 5 after inhale). Imagine you are filling your vagina with energy. Then exhale, and release all the old energies (count to 5 after exhale). After 2 minutes, start making an “Ahhh” sound on the exhale to amplify the effects of this practice.
Note: The moaning sound might feel awkward at first, but it’s the best practice I know to really find sexual confidence, which is required for the next steps.
Step 3: Make oily love with your body
Cover your whole body in coconut oil. Really slow down. Enjoy this process of touching your whole body, covering it with this nourishing oil.
Step 4: Approach yourself patiently down there
Massage the pubic area in circles with your palms and finger tips. You will feel tiny lymph nodes; gently activate them in circles. Move your hips as well as your hands. Explore the entire vulva area in detail, leaving the sensitive clitoris for last.
Step 5: Warm up your clitoris
The clitoris is the rawest and most explosive pleasure organ women have. Use it to warm up, but don’t overstimulate it.
Step 6: Vaginal mapping
Use more coconut oil for the inside, unless you are wet enough. Insert your middle finger, slowly and consciously. Take your time. Explore the walls of the vagina in every direction. Locate points of pleasure, and points of tension.
Step 7: Going deeper
Explore your G spot, on the front wall of the vagina. It generally feels bumpy to your finger. Take as long as you need, then move on to find other pleasure points deeper inside. When you need more depth than your finger can offer, reach for your non-toxic toy.
Step 8: Cervical bliss
Gently massage around the cervix to face and release all stored emotions and tensions. Then, just do what feels right for as long as you like. Explore pleasure!
Step 9: Integrate
When you have had enough, relax and lie in a comfortable position. Feel into every part of your body, and notice the effects of the massage.
Step 10: Go to the toilet
Make sure you go straight away and pee after the massage; this prevents urinary tract infections (UTI).
Doing a self yoni massage for might be a bit strange at the beginning. Take your time, don’t rush things and see it as a self love practice.
Mariah Freya is a sexual empowerment coach, urban goddess and creator of the Yoni Massage and Libido Awakening online courses. Mariah has a powerful mission: liberating sexuality from below the belly button up, and helping the individual grow through pleasure into fulfillment. Discover her work on mariahfreya.com